Lock Down: The First Day

Lock down began with a bang. 

 The BBC had overloaded the news channels with what you could do, where you could go, who you could see and what contact you could have with others. Archie thought it took micro management to a whole new level.  It was, after all, only a strain of flu that there was no vaccine for. 

 He had listened to an interview with a doctor on Radio 4, that specialized in the history of the NHS, who pointed out that during the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918 there was no vaccine, no social media, no 24 hour news updates to cause terror and consequently no hysteria frightening the population into submission.

  'No league tables bothered us then', he grumbled to himself.

  He and Alice were perfectly content in their cozy, comfortable cottage on the edge of the Wiltshire village where they had lived  since Archie retired from the RAF. It had taken no time at all for them to  become established members of the community .

  Alice had joined the WI and was on the committees for the renovation of the local 16th century church and the local parish council. Her years as PA to the Flight Commander of the RAF base  where they had met endowed her with organizational skills that left others in the starting blocks. 

  Archie's plan, when he retired, was to write a book. To this end he had ensconced himself in the summer house of their large sunny garden.  This corner of his own personal paradise was a combination of man cave, writing studio and dreamers paradise. The south facing garden, over which it looked, offered up the beauty and peace of both the dawn and the sunset. 

  With the morning sun flooding through the windows and the doors wide open to allow all the sounds and smells of his garden to wash over his senses he thought back to how much life had changed. No longer was he ruled by military regulations. Now the only living creature who made any demands of him was Colin, his very cross bred mutt.   Archie had rescued Colin from the streets of Akrotiri when he was stationed there.  For 5 years Archie had been Colin's savior, food supplier and best friend. As always, Colin now sat by the open door of the summer house with one eye on Archie and the remainder of his senses policing the birds, squirrels and smells in the garden.  

The coffee percolator bubbled away comfortingly in the corner as Archie booted up his laptop and opened his email account. He was delighted to see there were a couple of emails from chums in his old flight command. Thus, he settled down, coffee in hand, to read their news.

  This is how Alice found him half an hour later.

  'Hello darling. How's the book coming along', she inquired, with a knowing but loving smile. The book had been an ongoing project for a year now. So far not a word had been written. 

 'Still at the research stage dear, but another trip to the library archives should be enough to kick start the first chapter', he replied, aware that she was teasing him. 

  'You are aware I presume, that the library, along with the museums and every other resource to public information is now closed until further notice', she said. 

'Nil desperandum', he replied, 'this is why the internet was invented – just for this moment when the incompetence and absurdity of government leads us like lemmings to the cliff edge and prepares to push us over'. 

Alice sighed. Living with an ex officer, a man of strong opinions, who was used to organising himself and all around him, was a daily challenge. If it wasn't for the fact she adored him, she could have happily throttled him from time to time. 

'Well, I'm off to see what magical mystery tours can be provided by the supermarket at the retail park', she said. 'I'm reliably informed that queuing and trolley cleaning will be expected by the masses. Should be fun'.

  'Ridiculous!', grumbled Archie.  Colin looked adoringly at his master, as always in total agreement with him. 

 'Don't encourage him, Colin', said Alice, kissing the top of Archie's head and roughing Colin's neck as she wandered back to the house. 

 

 When Alice returned three hours later she was hot, cross and ready to write to the European Court of Human Rights regarding the appalling abuses committed on and by the British public.

  Archie saw her marching purposefully across the lawn and turning to Colin said, 'Tin hats on old man. Enemy assault incoming on the horizon!'. 

 Colin looked up and recognized the body language of the approaching enemy. He quickly nipped out of the sun house and scarpered to hide behind his favorite bush from where he could observe without being observed.

  'Coward', whispered Archie, as he greeted his beloved with a smile. 

'Hello darling. Coffee?'  

'No. Large gin and tonic, and hold the tonic', his beloved growled menacingly. 

'Problems?' he inquired. 

 'Problems!' She exclaimed, 'I had to queue for 45 minutes just to get into the damn store. They've put arrows all over the floors directing which way you can move between the aisles so when I finally got in there I was sneered at every time I went the wrong way down an aisle. To top it all, there is not a toilet roll or pasta in any form to be had and the shelves are practically empty, so you could say there is a problem – Yes!' 

Having let rip with this diatribe, Alice threw herself into the only armchair available as Archie placed a large gin on the small table next to her.  

Archie tried very hard to look sympathetic, but failed miserably. Noticing this, Alice smiled sweetly at him and hit him with the coup d'etat. 

 'Smirk away dear', she said, 'do you recall how your mother used to cut up newspapers to use as toilet paper'.

  'Yes', replied Archie, guardedly. 

'Well you're on newspaper cutting duties for the foreseeable future', she said, not without a note of triumph in her voice.  

So ended the first day.