LockDown Day 6
'Morning Alice', called her neighbour, Maggie. 'Lovely drying day isn't it?'
'Good Morning Maggie, indeed it is', she replied. 'What do you have planned for today?'.
I'm trying to gear myself up to go and do battle at the supermarket, but I'm lacking inspiration, motivation and a sub-machine gun to fight my way to the toilet roll shelves', said Maggie woefully.
Alice laughed. 'I can lend you Archie's catapult if that would be of any use, but it's a bit old and the elastic is a little frayed'.
'I know how it feels', said Maggie.
'Do what I do. Order it to be delivered. In fact I'm awaiting a delivery today. It takes all the pain out of queuing and having to follow those blasted arrows in the store. Look, Archie's off to play golf with his chums; come and have coffee with me and we'll set the world to rights', said Alice, wrestling with a king size duvet cover.
'Do you know, I hadn't thought of that, but it's an excellent idea. Give me half an hour and I'll be round', replied Maggie, heading to her laptop to make her first supermarket order. 'I thought the golf clubs had been closed because of the plague', she offered as an after thought.
'Oh goodness, I hope not', Alice said. 'The old boy's going stir crazy and there may well be a storming of the barricades if he is denied a round of golf and a couple of hours of male company. Anyway, he took his old flying mask with him incase, as he put it, “some spotty youth demands I wear a mask”.
'Surely that won't be required on a golf course? Oh well, we can always go and bail him out if push comes to shove', laughed Maggie.
Archie drove into the golf club car park behind his chum, Richard. They were half of a regular foursome who shared a kindred spirit and a love of the game.
Richard, a tall elegant man was an orthopoedic consultant at the local hospital. The other half of the foursome consisted of Nigel, a retired major from the Blues and Royals, who's military demeanor was unmistakable and Freddie, a stocky, slightly scruffy looking Professor of forensic pathology who worked mainly in London, but preferred to commute a few times a week rather than stay in the city.
'Morning Richard', called Archie as he pulled his clubs from the boot of his car.
'Archie, old man. Prepared for a drubbing today?', called Richard as he headed to the club house.
As they approached the entrance they spotted Freddie and Nigel in, what could only be describe as a free and frank exchange of views, with an anxious looking youth at the reception desk.
'Morning chaps', called Richard. 'Problems?
'Good morning Richard; Archie', said Nigel in his most authoritative voice. 'Young Darren here tells us that the club has to close due to the current plague conditions'.
'Absolute nonsense', chimed in Freddie. 'If you have an hour or two to spare I can give you a comprehensive talk on the transference of virus loads in the population. However, as matters stand you will just have to search the internet for the information – oh, and stay away from Wikipedia, it's a load of tosh!
'I don't think you can say that Freddie', Nigel chipped in. 'I found quite a comprehensive history of the British army on there, and most of it was accurate'.
'Yes', replied Richard. 'There was some quite useful information on orthopoedic surgery on there too'.
'I hope you don't tell your patients that you operate according to the information gained on Wikipedia', said Freddie.
'No. I just tell them if I get into difficulty I'll Google it', replied Richard, with a smile.
'I say chaps', chimed in Archie. 'getting back to the matter at hand; Darren, you look very thirsty. Why don't you go and have a large cup of coffee and put your feet up for half an hour. We'll watch the desk for you, won't we boys?'
'Absolutely!' the other three agreed – a little too quickly.
'Off you go Darren', said Archie encouragingly, 'and don't worry about a thing. We'll be sure to tell the club captain that you did your due diligence'.
Fearful of the consequences if he defied them, Darren crawled away to the staff coffee room, praying that the club house reception desk would still be there when he returned.
'Well done Archie', said Nigel. 'You see chaps, what you medics have never quite grasped is that the authority of the British Military is respected automatically'.
Freddie and Richard exchanged speculative glances. 'And there was us thinking that you just bulldozed that poor young man into letting loose 4 old codgers onto the course', offered Richard.
'Are we going to stand here all day, or are we going to play golf', complained Freddie.
'Good point', replied Nigel, heading for the greens. 'Best be gone before young Darren gets a second wind and returns for round two'.
Later that afternoon Alice was comfortabley ensconsed with her legs up on the sofa reading a rather good book.
Colin, the very cross bred mutt, had spent the day mourning the loss of his best friend, who appeared to have abandond him all over again. He was layed across his cushion by the front window, guarding his territory and hoping that Alice would know where Archie kept the treats.
Suddenly, Colin shot off his cushion and pelted towards the front door as he saw Archies car enter the driveway.
'Hello darling, just me', called Archie, making a huge fuss of his furry guardian.
'I gathered that', replied Alice, as he entered the room and kissed her. 'Good game of golf was it?'
'Not bad at all', replied Archie gleefully. The military once again beat the medics by 2 holes'.
'Maggie, next door, thought the golf clubs had been closed due to the plague', queried Alice.
'Technically they have. But when an irresistable force meets an immovable object something has to give way eventually', said Archie triumphanly.
'Oh dear, what have you done?' asked Alice with a feeling of foreboding.
'Nothing to cause alarm dear', smiled her best beloved. 'However, it seems that the course is going to be closed to golfers but open to dog walkers, so in future I'll be taking Colin with me for a nice long walk around the 18 holes.
So ended the 6th day.
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